A Nervous Smile

I had a habit that got me into trouble more times than I can count. Whenever a teacher scolded me, I couldn't help but smile. Not a small, embarrassed smile, but a full-blown, wide grin that I had no control over.

While my classmates stood with their heads down, looking guilty or regretful, I was the odd one out, practically beaming. Teachers hated it. "Why are you smiling? Do you think this is funny?" they'd demand, their anger doubling every second. But the truth was, I wasn’t amused—I was nervous. The more they yelled, the harder it was to stop.

It wasn’t that I found being scolded entertaining. If anything, I wanted to disappear. But for some reason, my body had a different way of handling stress. My heart would race, my hands would get clammy, and instead of shrinking away like a normal person, I’d smile. And that only made things worse.

For years, I didn’t understand why this happened. People thought I was being disrespectful, that I didn’t care. But deep down, I cared too much. It wasn’t until I grew older that I realized what it was—a nervous smile. A defense mechanism. Just like some people fidget, some stutter, and some go completely silent, my reaction to stress was to smile.

Looking back, I wish I had known how to explain it back then. But now, if someone asks me, “Why are you smiling?” I’ll simply say—

"Because life is too short not to."